Want to achieve your goals? Stop relying on "discipline".
Making new year resolutions is easy. Setting new goals every few months is easy.
Achieving them? NOT easy.
One of the things that I've been guilty of saying is -- "I wish I was more disciplined."
And another one -- "I wish I have more self control."
I said those two things a lot. And then I realized: I can't count on the concept of "discipline" if I want to achieve my goals.
When we talk about "discipline", we immediately think about how HARD it is to maintain discipline. To push ourselves and keep doing things, even when we don't feel good or in the "right" state of mind.
Or, even if we're disciplined in certain areas in our lives, we can be a complete LAZYBUM in other areas. We're definitely not perfect, right?
So if discipline -- something that we're supposed to have WITHIN ourselves -- doesn't seem to help us achieve our goals, what will?
Rely on your PRIDE to push yourself.
When we talk about "pride", it's always associated with something bad. Like, lose your pride and be humble.
Pride is about how you present yourself to *other people*. Like, how you'd never go out in public in wrinkled clothes. Or how you won't ever be seen with an imitation handbag. That's pride working.
But eventhough it sounds like something you're not supposed to have, pride can make you PRODUCTIVE. It's a strong motivator for action.
So let's apply pride to something more meaningful in your life.
What's the one goal that you've always wanted to achieve?
You'd rather be late ironing your clothes than go out in wrinkled clothing. You'd rather use a plastic bag than use an imitation handbag.
Your pride is telling you: "Do (this) or other people will think that you're (this)!"
*Other people* is the KEY INGREDIENT if you want to use pride to motivate you. Without other people, there is no pride. Without other people, you won't be concerned with how you present yourself.
I need you to visualize your goal. What goal will change your life to pure awesomeness, but you haven't managed to commit to?
What kind of impact do you want to make on the world? Do you really, really care about your goal?
Maybe you want to finally want to start a blog. Maybe you want to be more adventurous in cooking every weekend. Maybe you want to start a non-profit for a special cause.
If you really do care, then you have to start taking action *now*.
So what you need to do for pride to push you into action is to SHARE your goal with as many people as possible.
Share your goal with acquaintances and strangers.
It's not enough to share your goal with loved ones. Friends. Family. It's not enough.
You know that those people will understand if you end up not doing anything to achieve your goals. They love you and they'll be lenient with you. So your sense of pride WON'T be strong with them.
But with acquaintances and strangers, you won't want to mess up. You won't want to be judged harshly by these people. So your pride will be strong with them.
The best way to share your goal is on a social media platform that has acquaintances and strangers in it. Like Facebook or Instagram. The more not-close followers you have, the better.
What words to use when you're sharing your goal with acquaintances and strangers
For example, you can just say that "I want to lose weight and get healthier this year!" -- but that's TOO EASY. People make these kind of goals all the time!
You need to get SUPER SPECIFIC with your goal. The more specific you are, the more people are interested in your goal. It's like, there's more eyes on you! And that makes your pride more effective.
You can be specific by...
- Listing down the consistent actions that you will take to achieve your goal.
- Stating how many times you want to do the action per day / week / month.
- Giving yourself a clear deadline.
- Telling people how you want to keep track of your progress.
And the final step in making this concept of pride effective is by PROMISING people that you will post your progress on that same social media platform.
When you start to post your progress, people will begin expecting regular updates from you.
This is when your pride will tell you: "If you don't post a photo of your progress, people will think that you're lame. Like you're all talk and no action!"
So no matter how tired or uninspired you are, you will take action and just do it, because your pride won't let you quit.
I know it can be scary. It can be SUPER FREAKING scary to do this. But I'm gonna do the same too.
One goal I have to achieve by 31 December 2017
I have a goal that I've always wanted to achieve for the past few years: Lose weight.
(I'll tell you about it, eventhough it's something really personal)
4 years ago, I was at a very healthy weight. I moved around fine, didn't get sick often, eventhough I wasn't a sporty person.
But due to bad eating habits, I've gained 20+ kg since the past 4 years and it SUCKS. 20+ kg is not a small number. It really makes me feel shitty.
Not only because I can't fit into my clothes, but because I don't feel healthy at all. And I have so little energy eventhough I'm supposed to be in my PRIME age.
And the worst thing is? I've received so many comments on how much weight I've gained from friends, family and acquaintances. Eventhough they weren't exactly malicious, any comments on your physical appearance can be VERY VERY DEPRESSING. (Can you relate?)
Don't get me wrong, I have tried to get fitter before. I did exercise, I did eat healthily -- but only for a short period of time. When I lost motivation, I stopped all my efforts.
But this year, I thought to myself:
Aina, you have been able to achieve other things in your life -- like compete in a stressful national competition and won -- like launch your first product and actually make sales from it -- just because you didn't want to look bad. Eventhough you felt tired and shitty, you didn't want to look bad in front of people. And you succeeded.
Now go do the same to your own health and fitness.
(Yes, I talk to myself a lot)
So what's my goal?
- I plan to lose the 20+ kg of fat that I've gained and then slowly build up muscle. I'm not so hung up on how much I weigh, but I know the fat has to go first.
- After that, I want to be as strong as THIS American Ninja Warrior. I want to be able to do 10 pull ups by 31 December 2017. (Right now I can't even do one, LOL)
- I'll eliminate junk food and sugary drinks (my ultimate weakness) and eat healthily.
- I'll exercise 2x a week and do something out of the house during the weekends.
- I'll post my progress (in terms of action and results) over on Instagram every Sunday night.
- If I DON'T do this, I have no right to encourage people to go achieve their dreams and make a living from their passion.
I want to do this. I can do this.
My pride will push me to achieve my goal. Your pride can do the same too.
Here are the goals of that one of my subscribers has shared:
1) Lose 20kg of my weight to reach an ideal BMI by:
- Running for at least 3km every week
- Go swimming at least twice a month
- Reducing my sugar intake
- Increase my veggie and fruit intake with every meal
2) Finish reading at least 10 books
3) Able to plank, including side planks, with ease for at least 5 mins (now I can only manage just under a minute without half dying)
4) Able to drive on my own confidently within at least 30km radius from my house.
Keep updated on my progress over at instagram
Note: I've never aimed to be supermodel thin. I just want to be healthy and fit, and I have researched extensively on my meal plan and exercise program. I won't be promoting or taking quick weight-loss supplements, etc because I really want to work for this.