I started this year with good intentions. 2017 is my year! I'm gonna make it my best year yet. I'm gonna write all my goals nicely on a piece of paper, paste it on the wall and ACE THEM.
It's now August, the 8th month of the year, and I'm nowhere near achieving my goals.
And I feel depressed. With just 4 months left, I don't think 2017 will be my year. You know?
It's funny how a year used to feel forever to me, back in high school. Now that I'm working, it's SCARY how many days and months pass by without me really fully waking up.
And despite not wanting to, I've been living only for the weekends.
When you live only for the weekends, you keep wishing for time to pass faster during the week. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday... You feel like you want to skip them all.
I hate feeling like that. I hate feeling like I could only feel good or happy 8 days in a month.
And I also hate myself for not using my time to build something great for my future, you know? I know I'm supposed to DO more, but all I could manage is distract myself with entertainment. Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, streaming movies online... It's like my head is filled with other people's stories but I'm not writing MY story.
So that's why if you're struggling like me, I wanted to drop by and say it's OK.
It's OK to be disappointed and angry at yourself for squandering your limited time. You expected more of yourself.
It's OK to look back and feel ashamed at how you've been spending your time. You ruined your carefully made plans.
It's OK to be sad and envious when you look at other people's achievements. You feel left behind and insignificant where you're at now.
Wanna know why it's OK to feel all these negative emotions?
Because they're already there. Acknowledge them. Feel them. All the things you do to distract yourself are because you didn't want to feel these emotions.
If you don't confront these emotions, they're going to pile up. You'll feel heavier and gloomier until you lose hope.
Here's the thing, friend. You may not be able to achieve your goals this year. You may not be able to transform your life completely by the end of 2017. Life can't be compressed into a 2-hour movie. But keep your dreams alive.
It's easier to give up than to keep having all these negative emotions. If you gave up, you'd never have to feel disappointed in yourself again. But your dreams are worth it, aren't they?
The journey is worth it, right?
Baby steps. Baby steps.